Canada Solves Interprovincial Trade After Realizing Alcohol Is More Popular Than Healthcare
Canada’s premiers have finally achieved what decades of constitutional negotiations, equalization debates, and national unity summits never could: agreeing people should be able to buy more alcohol.
The new deal lets liquor producers sell directly across provincial borders, proving every trade barrier is negotiable once enough premiers picture themselves holding a local IPA in front of a camera.
Alberta Premier Danielle Smith called the agreement a victory for free trade, a principle governments traditionally support right up until it applies to doctors, housing, or electricity.
The announcement came one day after Donald Trump unveiled new tariffs on Canadian goods, prompting premiers to respond with Canada’s most reliable industrial policy: increasing the number of things citizens can drink about.
Officials say the agreement marks a historic breakthrough in interprovincial cooperation, confirming Canada’s leaders can solve almost any problem; as long as it isn’t one Canadians were actually asking them to.
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