Alberta’s Biggest Threat To Separation Identified As Basic Demographics

Alberta’s sovereignty movement suffered another unexpected setback this week after discovering that the province’s two largest cities continue insisting on containing most of Alberta’s people, jobs, tax revenue and economic output.

Edmonton City Council unanimously reaffirmed its support for remaining in Canada, prompting renewed concern that democracy may once again be complicated by arithmetic.

Supporters of separation remain optimistic, arguing Alberta’s future shouldn’t be dictated by places where people inconveniently insist on living, working, paying taxes and generating GDP.

Political strategists say the solution is simple: continue referring to Calgary and Edmonton as “downtown elites” until their combined 2.8 million residents somehow become statistically insignificant.

Officials confirmed the sovereignty campaign remains committed to representing the “real Alberta,” provided nobody checks where the majority of Albertans actually are.

---

---