Republicans Say Canada’s Biggest Crime Was Taking Trump Seriously
Republicans unveiled legislation this week demanding Canada stop retaliating against the trade war the United States insists it isn’t responsible for starting.
Rep. Claudia Tenney introduced the CANADA Act, accusing Canadian provinces of “holding American alcohol hostage” after they removed U.S. liquor from store shelves, a move reportedly considered far more aggressive than imposing tariffs, threatening annexation, and periodically referring to your largest trading partner as unfinished real estate.
Supporters say the bill restores the sacred American principle that every action should produce consequences for someone else.
Legal scholars praised the legislation for establishing an exciting new precedent in international diplomacy: if another country responds to something you did, that response now legally counts as the original aggression.
At press time, Republicans were preparing sanctions against umbrellas for their repeated attacks on rainfall.
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