Trump Criticized For Trying To Privatize Canada Before Canadians Have Finished Privatizing It Themselves
After U.S. President Donald Trump once again suggested Canada become the 51st state following the country’s recent recession, Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre clarified Tuesday that while the proposal is ridiculous, any eventual sale of the nation should be handled by a qualified Canadian grifter: Himself.
“Canada is not for sale to America,” Poilievre told reporters. “And if it ever is, Canadians deserve a government committed to securing the best possible deal for at least one Canadian. Me”
Poilievre criticized Trump for attempting a hostile takeover of the country without first consulting domestic politicians who have spent years carefully preparing Canada’s assets for interested buyers.
Prime Minister Mark Carney dismissed Trump’s comments as social media noise, while Ontario Premier Doug Ford reiterated that Canada is not for sale.
Sources close to Poilievre later clarified that Canada remains firmly off the market, though they acknowledged he would be willing to entertain offers “for research purposes.”
At press time, several investment banks had upgraded Canada from “sovereign nation” to “promising acquisition target.”
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