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Carney Wins 100% of Key Demographic: Guys Selling Flags At Roadside Stand | Breakfast Scotch NationalSkip to content
“4 more years! 4 more years!’ rang the chants of guys selling flags on the side of the road. “This couldn’t be better for business” said Cooger, 49 as he ripped open another box of “F*CK CARNEY” Flags with his tooth. “I mean, I hate what he’s going to do to this country, but wooo-golly I went all in on these flags, and soon I’ll be able to upgrade ol’Bessie here” he tapped his van, a 1997 Dodge Caravan with mismatched rims and different colored doors.
When asked what his plan was had the Conservatives won, Cooger responded “I’m not really sure. Liberals don’t buy flags, that’s for us believers in fiscal responsibility” Cooger had been having a hard time since the Alberta Conservatives cut disability programs, but with the new Liberal leader taking over, his future is set. Cooger also wanted to mention his podcast “God Loves Flags” where he discusses the downfall of Canada over the last 10 years. When questioned about why he started a podcast, Cooger stated “Oh, well there were lots of government grants available, and it’s something I always wanted to try”.
