Alberta Separatists Discover Province Could Be Filthy Rich If It Simply Pretended Debt and Indigenous People Didn’t Exist
Alberta separatists have released a groundbreaking economic report proving independence could generate billions in annual surpluses, provided nobody asks where the money comes from.
The Alberta Transition Council achieved this financial miracle by excluding federal debt and billions in Indigenous services, apparently deciding that accounting, much like Indigenous sovereignty, is optional when inconvenient.
Economists criticized the findings, noting that removing expenses from a budget doesn’t actually eliminate them.
Separatists dismissed the criticism as eastern propaganda, insisting Alberta could easily become a prosperous independent nation using the same financial principles as a divorced guy hiding assets from his third wife.
Premier Danielle Smith has yet to endorse the findings, although a province governed by people who mistake basic arithmetic for federal oppression was probably fucked long before separation became an option.
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