Poilievre Asks Albertans Not To Pull Trigger After UCP Spends Years Explaining Where Gun Is Kept

Pierre Poilievre urged Albertans to remain in Canada Tuesday, joining Danielle Smith in the increasingly difficult task of saving Confederation from people who have been listening to Danielle Smith.

Poilievre told separatists their problem is with Liberal governments, not Canada, offering the UCP a crucial new distinction after years of explaining Ottawa as an occupying power that steals Alberta’s lunch money and probably controls the weather.

Smith welcomed the intervention, reiterating that she supports a united Canada and merely called a referendum containing a pathway toward separation because apparently the best way to discourage divorce is to leave the paperwork on the kitchen table.

The UCP stressed it has never advocated leaving Canada, only spent years monetizing the belief that remaining in it constitutes provincial humiliation.

Poilievre urged Albertans to reject separation.

Smith agreed, before reminding everyone whose fault it would be if they didn’t.

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