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Jason Kenney Considering Legal Action After Alberta Rage Creature He Built Escapes Containment

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Once upon a time, Jason Kenney stitched together an angry populist creature from discarded Facebook comments, separatist grievances, and the political equivalent of radioactive pond sludge. He gave it life with endless culture-war electricity, taught it to hate Ottawa on command, and then fled the laboratory assuming the monster would only eat his enemies.

Unfortunately, the beast learned to read spreadsheets.

This week, Kenney expressed horror after allegedly seeing his own personal information projected at a separatist gathering tied to David Parker and the The Centurion Project, the same political ecosystem that once proudly fed on Kenney’s rivals before eventually chewing through the former premier himself like expired jerky.

“I am considering legal action,” Kenney announced, in the trembling tone of Dr. Frankenstein realizing the villagers are now forwarding around his home address.

Experts say the incident marks the first known case of a political Frankenstein monster successfully unionizing against its creator.

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