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“Well… I guess it’s still technically a Canadian team” Canadians Reluctantly Unite to Cheer for the Oilers

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In a development as uncomfortable as watching your ex win the lottery, Canadians coast to coast are begrudgingly donning Edmonton Oilers jerseys, now that they are the country’s final team clawing for the Stanley Cup.

What began as a promising playoff season for Canada quickly descended into its annual spring tradition: heartbreak, rage, and suspiciously passive-aggressive tweets about refereeing. With the Maple Leafs folding like a lawn chair in a windstorm and the Jet’s politely exiting stage left, the Oilers remain Canada’s last flickering hope of bringing the Cup home after a 31-year drought.

“It’s like cheering for your weird cousin who still unironically uses Axe body spray,” said Toronto resident and lifelong Leafs fan Kevin McAllister. “But I guess it’s better than watching another American team hoist our trophy.”

Across Montreal, Habs fans have reportedly been seen watching Oilers games in dimly lit basements with the blinds drawn, whispering “Go McDavid” under their breath and immediately apologizing to the ghost of Maurice Richard.

Oilers fans, meanwhile, are enjoying their moment in the sun, politely ignoring the sudden surge of “lifelong supporters” who were very loudly rooting against them last week.

As the Oilers skate deeper into the playoffs, a reluctant nation watches with cautious optimism, clutching their maple-syrup-soaked dreams and muttering, “Well… I guess it’s still technically a Canadian team.”



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