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UN Endorses Trump Gaza Plan, Diplomats Pray It Comes With Instructions

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In a rare moment of cosmic alignment – or perhaps just diplomatic exhaustion – the UN Security Council on Monday passed a US-drafted resolution meant to usher Gaza from its “fragile truce” phase into the optional expansion pack known as “sustainable peace.” The vote was 13–0, with Russia and China abstaining after reportedly deciding they were “too tired to veto anything today.”

The measure adds international legitimacy to President Donald Trump’s 20-point Gaza plan, a document so sprawling that diplomats privately refer to it as “the Ikea manual of Middle East policy.” Several points reportedly involve “firmly worded encouragement,” one includes a flowchart, and at least three require a level of optimism considered unsafe by most experts.

Trump celebrated the vote with a 47-minute social-media post praising his own “historic achievement,” the resolution itself, and, according to aides, possibly the chair he was sitting in at the time. The reconstruction of Gaza, officials say, will begin as soon as they figure out who’s supposed to pay for it.



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