In a press conference held between golf swings and Diet Coke refills, former President Donald Trump demanded that Beyoncé be “immediately prosecuted” for what he called “election interference of the highest, sparkliest order.” The accusation? Campaigning for Kamala Harris.
“Beyoncé is basically rigging the election with her hips and backup dancers,” Trump raged. “This is worse than Russia, worse than Hunter’s laptop — this is BootyGate!”
Legal experts were quick to point out that supporting a candidate is, in fact, legal. Trump countered by citing “the Beyoncé Clause,” which does not exist.
Marjorie Taylor Greene chimed in on X, writing, “She put a spell on America during the Super Bowl. Witch trial now.”
Meanwhile, Beyoncé has yet to respond, though sources claim her team is preparing a “visual rebuttal” that may crash the internet and several swing states simultaneously.
