In a move that economists are calling “fiscally unserious” and cult experts are calling “deeply on brand,” Donald Trump is reportedly urging Americans to Venmo him directly to help pay off the national debt. The former president, who still refers to himself as “your forever leader,” shared his personal Venmo handle during a rally: @RealDebtSlayer45.
“I fixed the economy once, I can fix it again – for the low, low price of $19.99,” Trump said, before launching into a rant about how Beyoncé caused inflation.
Aides claim the funds will go toward “patriotic debt relief,” though the fine print mentions legal fees, golf cart rentals, and a golden statue of Trump riding a bald eagle.
Despite warnings from the Treasury Department, over $2 million has already been sent – mostly from people who also believe Olive Garden is Italian fine dining.
America, once again, is investing in hope. And merch.
