In a move that left White House staffers equal parts confused and resigned, former President Donald Trump has unveiled his latest addition to the official presidential photo gallery: not a portrait of President Joe Biden, but a glossy 8×10 image of an autopen.
The photograph, framed in gaudy gold leaf, depicts the mechanical pen commonly used to sign documents without human involvement. “This is Joe,” Trump allegedly told visitors, tapping the glass. “Perfect likeness. Doesn’t eat ice cream, doesn’t forget things, never ran a basement campaign. Much better.”
While historians debated whether the stunt qualified as satire or vandalism, maintenance staff have quietly requested an additional budget for “gallery-related psychological support.”
The Biden administration declined to comment, though one aide muttered that the machine “still writes straighter than Trump.” Meanwhile, the autopen’s manufacturers reported a sudden surge in sales and requests for custom hairpieces.
