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The Art of the Sue: Trump Turns Hurt Feelings Into GDP-Sized Damages

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Donald Trump, proving once again that his favorite hobby is suing newspapers for not loving him enough, has filed a $15 billion defamation lawsuit against The New York Times. The former president claims the paper has spent years “ruining his reputation,” which is impressive considering he’s usually pretty efficient at handling that himself.

Legal experts noted that $15 billion is roughly the GDP of some small nations, and considerably more than the Times is worth. When asked why the figure was so high, Trump allegedly replied, “Because it’s a nice round number, like me.”

The Times responded with the journalistic equivalent of an eye roll, stating that Trump’s case had the same odds of success as his university did of accreditation.

If successful, the payout could make Trump one of America’s richest men again, right before he spends it all suing Saturday Night Live.



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