
Support for Poilievre Plummets After Election Loss; Conservatives Suddenly Remember He’s Not That Likable
Just days after a stunning federal election loss, Pierre Poilievre’s approval ratings have nose-dived faster than a Bitcoin investment during a Bank of Canada press conference and seems to not have recovered in the following weeks.
Once hailed as the Red Bull-fueled hope of a resurgent Conservative Party, Poilievre’s support has evaporated like convoy fumes on a hot day. “He told us he’d bring common sense back,” said one former supporter. “Turns out he just brought a lot of YouTube clips and weird energy.”
In a reversal so sharp it caused whiplash across Alberta, former loyalists have begun distancing themselves. “We thought he was playing 4D chess,” one MP admitted anonymously. “Turns out it was Hungry Hungry Hippos.”
Sources say morale at Conservative HQ is at an all-time low, with interns being offered Tim Hortons gift cards to stick around and shred bumper stickers.
Meanwhile, Poilievre has reportedly retreated to a quiet cabin with only a stack of Ayn Rand books and a whiteboard titled “Blame Trudeau?”
When asked if he plans to resign, Poilievre said, “Absolutely not. This is just the woke media attacking me for having glasses and telling it like it isn’t.”
Voters, meanwhile, seem content. “He promised change,” one said. “We changed him—into an afterthought.”
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