“It’s either code… or a really glitchy god.” Physicist Studying SARS-CoV-2 Virus Believes He Has Found Hints We Are Living In A Simulation

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“It’s either code… or a really glitchy god.” Physicist Studying SARS-CoV-2 Virus Believes He Has Found Hints We Are Living In A Simulation

In a revelation that has scientists confused and philosophers smugly nodding, Dr. Alan Vresnik, a physicist turned virologist during the pandemic, claims he’s found evidence that reality might be “more Game Boy than God.”

While modeling the mutation patterns of SARS-CoV-2, Vresnik stumbled upon what he describes as “non-random repetition of code strings eerily similar to machine language.” In layman’s terms: the virus may be updating itself like Windows 95 with a vengeance.

“When I reverse engineered the virus’s spike protein behavior,” said Vresnik, visibly twitching from caffeine and existential dread, “I found a binary pattern that literally spelled out ‘LOL.’”

The scientific community has, predictably, responded with a mix of eye rolls and requests for him to return his lab coat. Meanwhile, Reddit has already declared him a prophet, and Elon Musk offered him a job before finishing his sentence.

If true, this could mean we’re just background NPCs in a simulation where the main player got bored and unleashed a pandemic for fun. Or it means the universe’s coder forgot to comment their work.

In either case, someone please unplug 2020 and blow on the cartridge.