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States Sue EPA Over Sunlight Shortage

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In a development that’s both bright and deeply ironic, more than 20 U.S. states have filed lawsuits against the Environmental Protection Agency after it abruptly canceled millions in solar power grants – citing “budgetary overexposure.” The decision, critics say, has left local solar projects in the dark, literally and figuratively.

Governors from both coasts gathered at a press conference lit entirely by diesel-powered generators to denounce the move. “We were promised sunlight,” one governor lamented, “and all we got was hot air.”

The EPA defended itself, saying the cuts were necessary to fund “more immediate environmental needs,” such as repainting its headquarters in “eco-neutral beige.” Meanwhile, solar companies are scrambling to pivot – some have begun offering “artisanal candles for climate resilience.”

As lawsuits pile up, energy analysts warn the fight could drag on for years, or at least until someone figures out how to tax the sun.



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