“She’s not perfect” Poll Shows Alberta Still Smitten with UCP Despite Mounting Bruises
Like a partner who keeps “accidentally” forgetting anniversaries and maxing out joint credit cards, Premier Danielle Smith and Alberta’s United Conservative Party (UCP) continue to enjoy voter affection—despite a growing list of injuries to the province’s wellbeing.
A new poll suggests the political honeymoon is far from over, even as the UCP leaves the provincial economy, healthcare system, and public education clutching ice packs and wondering where it all went wrong.
“We asked voters how they felt about the UCP’s performance,” said pollster Janet Klein of Prairie Pulse Research. “The top answers were: ‘not great,’ ‘pretty rough,’ and ‘could be worse, I guess.’ Yet somehow, support for Smith remains strong.”
Since taking office, Smith’s government has waged war on doctors, teachers, and anyone caught using the word “science” unironically. Oil companies, however, have been seen skipping down Jasper Avenue, pockets bulging and spirits high.
“It’s like Stockholm syndrome,” said political analyst Greg Myron. “If the UCP were a roommate, they’d have eaten your leftovers, crashed your car, and told you to toughen up.”
Still, Smith remains oddly charming to many Albertans, perhaps due to her folksy rhetoric or the province’s deep distrust of alternatives. “She’s not perfect,” said Calgary resident Donna J., “but at least she hates Ottawa.”
The UCP declined to comment, but sources close to the government said they were too busy renaming public services after Ayn Rand characters.
For now, Alberta and its ruling party remain a deeply dysfunctional—but strangely committed—couple.
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