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“Private Schools? Not on Our Nickel” Alberta Adults Overwhelmingly Say

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Alberta adults have spoken, and apparently, they don’t want their tax dollars helping little Timmy perfect his quillmanship at an accredited independent school. A new survey by Think HQ suggests 59 per cent of adults would happily vote to cut provincial funding for private schools, with a whopping 69 per cent of decided voters saying “enough is enough.”

“It was quite surprising,” said Think HQ president Mark Henry, as if discovering that a province famous for public debates about… well, everything, might actually agree on something.

The results have sent shockwaves through Alberta’s elite PTA circuits, where whispered rumors of bake sale fundraisers and clandestine lemonade stands now swirl like a political thriller. Meanwhile, ordinary taxpayers reportedly cheered quietly at the prospect of their cash staying in the wild, mysterious lands of public schools – where children learn things like algebra, history, and how to survive a life without artisanal toast.



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