In a devastating blow to the “Facebook University” medical community, a massive new study published Thursday found no credible link between Tylenol use during pregnancy and later diagnoses of autism or ADHD in children.
The finding has left thousands of wellness influencers and comment-section toxicologists scrambling for a new household villain. “We had a good run blaming Tylenol,” said one self-described “mommy scientist” while Googling “is tap water neurotoxic???”
Researchers say the results are based on years of data, not “vibes or posts your cousin shared in 2019.” Despite this, sales of herbal “detox kits” and essential oils reportedly surged immediately following the study’s release.
Pfizer spokespersons celebrated the outcome, noting that Tylenol has now been cleared of causing both autism and the collapse of Western civilization, though they admit the jury’s still out on whether it can cure awkward family group chats.
