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New Survey Shows APP Support Strong Among Those Who Think Math is a Liberal Conspiracy

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A recent provincial survey reveals that enthusiasm for the proposed Alberta Pension Plan (APP) hovers somewhere between “meh” and “what fresh hell is this?”

Despite Premier Danielle Smith’s hopes of a jubilant parade out of the Canada Pension Plan (CPP), most Albertans responded to the APP proposal with the same energy they reserve for mid-April blizzards and $7 cauliflower-reluctant acceptance sprinkled with existential dread.

Support for the breakaway plan was strongest among those who also believe Ottawa is run by a cabal of socialist beavers. Meanwhile, younger respondents worried their “Alberta Advantage” might one day include retiring on a gravel patch beside a rig ghost town.

Officials insist they’ll keep pushing the idea, citing “Alberta’s right to financial self-destruction.” One anonymous source said, “If it tanks, we’ll just blame Trudeau. That usually works.”



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