Oklahoma Superintendent Ryan Walters, America’s leading advocate for Jesus-based curriculum and “no porn in schools,” has reportedly brought the porn to work instead. According to stunned board members, a recent State Board of Education meeting turned biblical in the wrong direction when a TV in Walters’ office began playing what one attendee described as “naked women doing anything but prayer.”
Walters, caught mid-Commandment violation, fumbled with the remote like a youth pastor at a laptop history tab. He denies everything, claiming it’s a political smear, possibly orchestrated by Satan or, worse, teachers’ unions.
The irony isn’t lost on Oklahomans: the man who wants kids reading Deuteronomy instead of Toni Morrison may have accidentally launched a viewing party for “Genesis: The XXX Edition.” Investigators are now sorting out whether this was divine judgment, office sabotage, or just a tragic case of autoplay.
Meanwhile, no word yet on whether the Bible stayed open during the show.
