Albertans awoke this week to find Premier Danielle Smith’s new mandate letters read like a love letter to private health care, complete with a winking emoji and a faint smell of “for-profit efficiency.” The letters urge ministers to “explore partnerships” with private providers, a phrase political linguists confirm translates to “hope you like your appendix on layaway.”
Critics warn the move could create a two-tier system where the rich get MRIs and the rest get motivational posters. Supporters, meanwhile, insist it’s about “choice,” as in the choice between paying for treatment or just toughing it out until spring.
Health professionals report déjà vu symptoms, last seen during the 1990s “reinvention” of the system, which also came with budget cuts and a robust black market for crutches. Smith assured citizens not to worry: “Private health care is only scary if you can’t afford it.”
