A frantic 911 call about a possible kidnapping in a quiet suburban neighborhood turned into a bureaucratic horror show this week, when police arrived to find not a kidnapper, but an Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agent doing his job.
Residents reported masked men in tactical gear throwing someone into an unmarked SUV, prompting a swift police response. But upon arrival, officers were sheepishly informed that this wasn’t an abduction, it was “just ICE doing ICE things.”
“It looked like a cartel hit,” said one neighbor. “Turns out it was Homeland Security.”
ICE later confirmed the operation was “routine,” though failed to explain why it resembled a low-budget spy thriller. The detainee, a 23-year-old undocumented man with no criminal record, is now in a detention center awaiting “processing,” which is government-speak for “we’ll figure it out later.”
America: where it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference between law enforcement and the people they arrest.
