President Donald Trump announced last month on Truth Social that he has officially designated the movement known as Antifa as a major domestic terrorist organization – despite the movement’s distinct disadvantage of not technically existing.
Speaking to reporters, Trump called the decision “historic,” adding that “many people are saying” it will end street chaos and “probably communism, too.” He also demanded investigations into those “funding” the group, though aides later clarified that no one is quite sure who that is.
Legal experts noted that Antifa is more of a loose philosophy than an organization, making the new policy “about as enforceable as banning bad vibes.” Still, the announcement delighted supporters, who hailed Trump for finally standing up to masked anarchists and possibly their Etsy stores. The FBI, meanwhile, has reportedly opened several cases against local bookstores “just in case.”
