Danielle Smith Shocked to Discover Albertans Hate Ottawa Less Than They Hate Her
Premier Danielle Smith is celebrating Alberta’s overwhelming rejection of separatism after discovering that convincing an entire province to despise Ottawa doesn’t automatically make them stupid enough to follow her off a cliff.
With 75% voting to remain Canadian, Smith declared the issue settled, having successfully alienated federalists, emboldened separatists, and united both groups around the possibility of her unemployment.
Smith now faces a political crisis of her own making: separatists consider her a traitor, federalists consider her a liability, and her caucus considers her a vacancy with a pulse. The premier insists her leadership remains secure, although party insiders are reportedly debating whether to replace her before or after blaming her for everything.
Smith’s office called the referendum a victory, explaining that losing your political base while keeping your province is technically a net gain.
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