Crickets from the GOP. Raise Your Hand If You Don’t Think Kids with Cancer Should Be Deported
In a stunning display of heartwarming compassion, not a single Republican raised their hand when asked if children with cancer who happen to be American citizens should not be deported. Yes, you read that right—none. Zilch. Nada.
Apparently, the GOP’s new approach to immigration is “tough love,” with “tough” meaning deporting kids who can barely hold a juice box, and “love” meaning… well, it’s still being debated. When confronted with the moral dilemma of sending sick kids back to countries they barely know, Republican lawmakers collectively decided that empathy was overrated and that bureaucracy should reign supreme.
One unnamed Republican aide reportedly said, “We believe cancer doesn’t discriminate, and neither should deportation policies. If chemo can’t save them, maybe our immigration rules will.” Critics argue this stance makes about as much sense as a screen door on a submarine, but the GOP insists it’s about “protecting borders,” even if it means turning hospital halls into holding pens.
Meanwhile, Americans are left wondering if the GOP’s next campaign slogan might be: “Vote Republican—Because Cancer’s Just Another Excuse to Deport.” Stay tuned.
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