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  • “What Could Possibly Go Wrong?” Trump’s EPA Eyes Asbestos Comeback
  • Parents Leave Child with Pastor to Protest Drag Story Hour, Irony Left Unsupervised
  • Cruz Defends Delay: ‘Stopping for Margaritas Was Critical to My Reentry Strategy
  • US to Withdraw from NATO Under Republican Bill, Citing ‘Too Many Vowels in European Alliances’
  • Experts Weigh In: Which Dystopian Film Will Best Prepare You for Elon Musk’s Brain-Link Enslavement?
  • New GOP Border Plan: Give Us Your Tired, Your Poor… Then Feed Them to Gators
  • Canadians Hope Meth-Fueled Neighbors Remember What Made America Great — And It Wasn’t Red Hats
  • America to Celebrate Like It’s July 4th, 1939: Blind Optimism, Cheap Fireworks, and Looming Doom
  • GOP Unveils New Slogan: ‘Don’t Judge Trump Till You Walk a Sig Mile in His Shoes’
  • Trump Becomes First President in Over a Century to Miss NAACP Invite; Nation Somehow Survives

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