In the latest chapter of America’s ongoing reality show, Jacob Chansley, better known as the horned, face-painted “QAnon Shaman”, has filed a lawsuit against Donald Trump for a modest sum of $40 trillion. Chansley, who once stormed the Capitol dressed like a Viking auditioning for Burning Man, now insists he is the “lawful, divine, antlered President of the United States.”
The lawsuit alleges that Trump “failed to properly ascend the throne of America’s sacred buffalo people,” leaving Chansley no choice but to seize the office himself. As evidence, he submitted a doodle of an eagle fighting a lizard, a signed copy of The Art of the Deal, and “vibes.”
Legal scholars note that Chansley’s case is unlikely to succeed, mostly because the GDP of planet Earth falls slightly short of $40 trillion. Still, he maintains confidence: “The Constitution is clear. Whoever looks coolest on January 6th wins.”
