Premier Danielle Smith’s Alberta Next advisory panel announced today it is retroactively “fixing” three public surveys after discovering what it called “an oversight”, namely, allowing too many Albertans to answer freely.
The panel, tasked with shaping Alberta’s future, admitted the surveys accidentally contained “options that didn’t align with government priorities,” such as climate action, healthcare funding, and answers that didn’t involve “freedom” shouted in all caps.
“We deeply regret giving people choices that weren’t productive,” said one panel member while sharpening a red marker. “The revised surveys will now only include answers ranging from ‘Yes, Premier’ to ‘Absolutely, Premier.’”
Critics accused the panel of rewriting public opinion to fit Smith’s ideology. Smith dismissed them, saying, “This isn’t about censorship. It’s about correcting Albertans’ mistakes before they make them.”
The updated surveys are expected to show record-breaking support for whatever Smith decides next.
