Alberta is once again firing up the tour bus of democracy, announcing a new province-wide panel to “chart a path forward” amid renewed murmurs of pipeline development. The panel-composed of oil executives, a guy who once watched a YouTube video about infrastructure, and one retired rodeo clown for relatability—will travel town to town asking Albertans what they think, and then almost certainly ignoring it.
Energy Minister Brenda Coalburn called the initiative “a bold, necessary step,” while standing in front of a pipeline-shaped cake. “We’re listening,” she assured reporters, as oil prices slumped and climate protests grew louder.
Critics say it’s just performative consultation theater, with one environmentalist noting, “If Alberta held a panel every time they panicked about oil, the province would be one giant folding table.”
The tour begins next week. Residents are encouraged to attend, nod politely, and enjoy the complimentary beef jerky.
