Trump Insists Apple Can Move Production to the US Because of ‘Computerized’ Factories After Threatening Tariffs
Former President Donald Trump has once again combined his signature bravado with tech-world cluelessness, declaring that Apple has “no excuse” not to manufacture all its products in the U.S. because, in his words, “everything’s computerized now.”
“They have machines that build the other machines. It’s beautiful. You don’t need people. You just push a button,” Trump explained at a golf course press conference, while holding what appeared to be a calculator upside down.
The comments came hours after he threatened to slap Apple with “big, tremendous tariffs” unless the tech giant moves its manufacturing out of China. When asked if he understood the complexity of Apple’s global supply chain, Trump responded, “Tim Cook is a friend of mine. Great guy. I once told him, ‘Tim Apple, bring it home. Just plug it in like a microwave. Easy.’”
Economists quickly began weeping into their spreadsheets. “It’s not just about machines,” said one trade expert, visibly aging in real time. “You can’t just build an iPhone factory between a Waffle House and a Bass Pro Shop.”
Apple has yet to respond publicly, though one insider noted that the company is “reconsidering all public events that might involve the phrase ‘Tim Apple.’”
Meanwhile, Trump is reportedly in talks to launch his own phone, tentatively named the “iTrump,” which insiders say will be “100% American-made—except for the parts, labor, software, and common sense.”
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