Poll: 70% of Albertans Willing to Help the 30% Who Want to Move to the U.S.
A new Angus Reid poll has revealed that 70% of Albertans are willing to help the 30% of their neighbors who say they’ll move to the United States now that the Liberals have won the federal election. From hauling couches to the border and drafting heartfelt “Don’t forget your gun rack!” cards many Albertans seem more than ready to support their departing peers.
“It’s the least we can do,” said one Calgary resident, adjusting his ‘I ❤️ Oil’ trucker cap they were wearing in solidarity. “I’ve got a buddy who’s already mapped out a route to Texas that avoids all those ‘socialist’ speed traps in Montana.”
Some enterprising Albertans have even proposed a GoFundMe to cover the cost of one-way U-Hauls and extra-large American flag bumper stickers. “We just want to make sure they feel at home,” said a volunteer from Red Deer, adding that they’d happily throw in a few cases of Pilsner and a box of Tim Hortons doughnuts as a parting gift.
However, not everyone is sold. “Do they realize the U.S. has national parks, too?” asked one Edmonton resident, sipping a lukewarm double-double. “And don’t even get me started on their health care.”
Still, for those who genuinely believe the grass (and gas prices) are greener on the other side, their fellow Albertans are ready to lend a hand – and maybe a sturdy set of ratchet straps.
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