Trump accidentally invents most uncomfortable family values platform in presidential history
President Donald Trump briefly stunned supporters Wednesday after joking that he, along with his two eldest sons, should all receive the Medal of Honor, before accidentally describing the arrangement as “a threesome” and forcing thousands of loyal supporters to perform the fastest synchronized act of pretending they hadn’t heard something in American history.
Witnesses said the crowd immediately entered survival mode, mentally rewriting the quote into “freedom,” “leadership,” or whatever Fox News would eventually tell them he meant.
Trump later clarified he would settle for awarding the medal to only one son and himself, despite none having served in the military.
Historians noted Theodore Roosevelt charged enemy positions under fire, while Trump’s greatest act of bravery remains saying whatever enters his head before his staff has time to unplug the microphone.
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