Alberta Petition to Leave Canada Launched by People with No Clue on How Anything Currently Works
Alberta separatists brought their campaign to Edmonton on Tuesday, setting up shop in a west-end hotel ballroom to collect signatures for a petition aimed at launching a referendum on leaving Canada, or at least dramatically announcing they are “done with this place.”
Organizers say they need nearly 178,000 signatures, a number they are confident they can reach by repeating the phrase “Ottawa” in an increasingly haunted tone across the province.
Among those signing was Brian Copping, who moved to Alberta from Ontario 40 years ago and now says the country has quietly become communist without anyone telling him. Copping said Alberta gains “no advantages” from Canada, apart from roads, money, health care, and the concept of a functioning nation-state.
Edmonton resident Serge Chamberland echoed concerns about eastern favouritism, arguing an independent Alberta couldn’t possibly do worse, a statement historians typically regret within minutes.
Others cited cost-of-living pressures, concluding that if housing is expensive now, the obvious solution is to invent a brand-new country and hope for the best.
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