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Alberta Releases Report Showing Schools in Crisis; Government Offers Thoughts and Prayers, Mostly Prayers | Breakfast Scotch NationalSkip to content
In a triumphant display of efficiency, Alberta’s long-awaited aggression and complexity report has confirmed what teachers have been shouting into the void for years: classrooms are full, everything is on fire, and everyone is pretending it’s fine. The 25-member action team, formed in June, presumably after someone found a “Break Glass in Case of Crisis” box, finally released its findings Friday, revealing overcrowded rooms, overworked staff, and a noticeable spike in student aggression, which experts are calling “predictable” and the government is calling “vibrant learning energy.”
Premier Danielle Smith assured reporters that the province is prepared to take decisive action, especially now that teachers have been legally duct-taped back into their classrooms via the notwithstanding clause. She pointed to preliminary data showing a surge in English-language learners entering at later grades, describing it as “a wonderful challenge for our already maxed-out educators.”
The class size and complexity committee will meet soon, just as soon as they find a room big enough.
