In what legal scholars are already calling the most American verdict ever rendered, a jury on Thursday found the man who hurled a Subway sandwich at a federal officer not guilty of assault.
The 2017 incident – in which a ham-and-provolone missile was launched across Lafayette Square during the Trump administration’s early law enforcement surge – became an instant meme of “carb-based resistance.” Graffiti reading “Yeast We Can” appeared across the capital within days.
Prosecutors argued that no matter how “minor,” throwing processed meat at federal agents “undermines respect for authority.” The defense countered that it was, at worst, an act of spontaneous lunch redistribution.
“We accept the jury’s verdict,” said DC U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro. “But let this be a reminder: assault is never funny – even when it’s cold-cut combo funny.”
Outside the courthouse, supporters cheered. Someone threw a sandwich. It missed.
