In a development that left both historians and Advil manufacturers groaning, former President Donald Trump has once again floated the idea of a third term, declaring, “I would love to do it.” The U.S. Constitution reportedly responded by crawling into a safe and locking itself from the inside.
Speaking at a rally where logic traditionally goes to die, Trump suggested that two terms “just isn’t enough for someone of my tremendous energy,” adding that George Washington “quit early because he was low energy.” Legal experts immediately clarified that a third term would be “flat-out unconstitutional,” though Trump allies said they were “reviewing the fine print” to see if the Founders “left any wiggle room for greatness.”
Meanwhile, the ghost of Franklin D. Roosevelt was reportedly seen sighing, muttering, “At least I had a war as an excuse.”
