The sound of history being bulldozed echoed across Pennsylvania Avenue this morning as demolition crews began tearing down the East Wing of the White House to make room for what former President Donald Trump is calling “the most luxurious, gold-plated ballroom in the world.”
Officials described the project as a “private-public partnership,” which apparently means taxpayers are footing the bill while Trump’s name goes on the door. Blueprints reportedly feature mirrored ceilings, marble floors, and a DJ booth shaped like the presidential seal.
Critics have called the plan “an architectural coup,” while supporters insist the new wing will “finally make the White House classy again.”
When asked about the Oval Office’s fate, Trump told reporters, “We’re keeping it, but it’s going in the VIP section. Very exclusive. Only the best presidents get in.”
Construction is expected to finish just before the next election cycle, conveniently.
