In a crushing blow to the anti-vaccine entertainment complex, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was once again vanquished this week – not by Big Pharma, but by his sworn enemies: Common Sense and Rational Thought.
Despite his tireless efforts to warn America that vaccines are secretly plotting against them, the public appears largely unfazed. COVID shots will remain available much like last year, officials say – a fact scientists attribute to “people still liking not dying.”
Eyewitnesses reported seeing Common Sense and Rational Thought celebrating outside a Walgreens, holding victory lattes and high-fiving pharmacists. RFK Jr., meanwhile, was last seen furiously Googling “natural immunity for embarrassment.”
Political analysts note that Kennedy’s crusade may have peaked when he started losing debates to baristas with biology minors. As one health official put it: “The vaccines are fine. He’s the one that needs a booster – of reality.”
