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Conservative Math: Faith > Facts, Christians Win Gold in Suffering Olympics

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Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre raised eyebrows this week when he declared that Christians “may be the number one” victims of hate-based violence in Canada, though he admitted he wasn’t totally sure, because, you know, facts are hard. The statement came during a town hall in which Poilievre compared the plight of Christians to “being the Leafs in the playoffs: persecuted, ridiculed, but still showing up every year.”

Critics quickly pointed out that statistics don’t exactly support his claim, but Poilievre countered with his usual logic: “If you believe something strongly enough, it becomes true. That’s faith. That’s politics. Same thing, really.”

Observers suggested the comment was a tactical move to win over churchgoers who think Tim Hortons cups are a front in the war on religion. Meanwhile, the country waits for the next revelation, perhaps that Christians invented hockey and are being unfairly erased from Zamboni history books.



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