House Oversight Democrats have released a third batch of documents from the late Jeffrey Epstein’s estate, proving once again that America’s elite can’t resist guest appearances in the world’s worst address book. This round of name-dropping features Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, Steve Bannon, and the world’s least-invited royal, Prince Andrew.
The committee says the material sheds light on “potential conflicts of interest,” though most observers admit it mostly sheds light on just how small and deeply uncomfortable the billionaire circle really is. Musk, reportedly appearing in the papers like a recurring NPC, declined to comment, though Tesla stock wobbled as investors Googled “Epstein flight logs.”
Thiel allegedly offered “tech insights,” Bannon seems to have gotten lost on the way to a yacht party, and Prince Andrew’s lawyers immediately requested “total darkness.” Americans, meanwhile, have requested a national shower.
