In a move that shocked precisely no one, Mark Carney’s newly ascendant Liberal faction has declared Justin Trudeau’s Liberals “incompetent,” as though Canadians hadn’t already gathered that from eight years of watching cabinet ministers try to run a country like a freshman improv troupe.
Carney, the former central banker who made a career out of speaking calmly while markets caught fire, has promised a more “serious” brand of Liberalism. Critics note this is a little like promising a more “sober” tequila shot.
“Trudeau meant well,” said one Carney insider, “but it turns out good hair doesn’t actually lower grocery bills.” The rebrand appears aimed at convincing Canadians the Liberals can govern without selfies, sock metaphors, or spontaneous blackface scandals.
Whether voters buy it remains to be seen, but at least the party has found common ground: nothing unites Liberals quite like blaming other Liberals.
