Donald Trump, already facing more courtrooms than campaign rallies, has reportedly added a new line to his fundraising pitch: a $15 donation to secure his personal “express ticket to heaven.”
At a rally Thursday, Trump told cheering supporters that God was “a big fan of deals” and would surely appreciate “a modest down payment on eternal real estate.” He added, “For just fifteen dollars, less than the price of a Biden burger combo, you can help me bypass the line and get the best seat, probably right next to God himself. Maybe even closer.”
Campaign staff denied critics’ accusations of blasphemy, saying Trump was simply “innovating the afterlife marketplace.” Meanwhile, televangelists expressed outrage that the former president was undercutting their usual $99 “salvation packages.”
One supporter in a MAGA hat summed up the mood: “I’d give him twenty if it means heaven has a golf course.”
