In a move that some might describe as “ambitiously nostalgic,” a pro-Canada petition group announced this week that they are confident they can gather 300,000 signatures in Alberta, a province where maple leaves are often replaced with “Wexit” bumper stickers.
The group insists their campaign is about “national unity” and not, as skeptics suggest, masochism. Volunteers have fanned out across the province with clipboards, attempting to coax Albertans into declaring affection for the country they routinely accuse of stealing their oil money and sending it east to fund Toronto bike lanes.
Organizers remain upbeat, even as their canvassers are met with responses ranging from polite refusals to enthusiastic lectures about pipelines. “We believe there are still hundreds of thousands of people here who don’t hate Canada,” one organizer said. “And if we can find them before winter sets in, we’ll call that a win for democracy—or at least stubborn optimism.”
