A growing number of Canadians are being turned away at the U.S. border for failing to meet a newly enforced “purpose of entry” requirement, because apparently, “buying cereal that tastes like something” no longer qualifies.
“I told the agent I was going to Target and maybe a Chili’s,” said one baffled Vancouver resident. “He asked if I had a job interview or a dying relative. I said no, just vibes. They said, ‘That’s not a purpose, sir.’”
The crackdown has left snowbirds grounded, cross-border shoppers exiled, and bored Ontarians trapped with only Shoppers Drug Mart and existential dread.
U.S. Customs officials insist the new enforcement is about “security,” though insiders say agents were just tired of hearing “Buffalo has better deals.”
Canada, in response, is reportedly considering its own border rule: No entry for Americans who say “eh” sarcastically.
