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Chaos Ensues in Byelection. Federal Government Trusts Albertans Can Spell | Breakfast Scotch NationalSkip to content
In a bold show of optimism, Elections Canada has announced that write-in ballots will be used in Alberta’s Battle River–Crowfoot byelection, trusting that voters can correctly spell the names of more than 200 candidates, most of whom are running ironically.
The decision came after the ballot grew so large it began to interfere with local crop dusting operations. Rather than print a multi-page tome resembling a Sears catalogue, officials opted for blank ballots, assuming Albertans could simply “sound it out.”
“We believe in the literacy of the electorate,” said one trembling spokesperson, before excusing themselves to laugh-cry in the hallway.
Critics worry this will disenfranchise voters who confuse “Poilievre” with “Polyfilla” or accidentally vote for “Jebus Cripes,” a legally registered protest candidate.
Still, Ottawa remains hopeful. “We trust Albertans to navigate this democratic process,” one MP said. “They haven’t let us down since… oh.”
