The White House entered DEFCON PR meltdown after a new sculpture unveiled in a downtown Manhattan gallery depicted former President Donald Trump mid-waltz with the late Jeffrey Epstein, beneath a disco ball fashioned from shattered NDAs.
Titled “Two to Tango (and One to Blackmail)”, the life-sized bronze piece features Trump in a MAGA tuxedo, holding Epstein close as dollar bills swirl around them like confetti. The artist, known only as “Subpoena,” insists the piece is “a reflection on selective amnesia in high society.”
Press Secretary Kayleigh 2.0 called the sculpture “vile libel in three dimensions,” and accused the gallery of “weaponizing art against American greatness.” Meanwhile, Trump posted on Truth Social: “Never danced. Maybe fist-bumped. Sad!”
Secret Service agents were later seen installing curtains around the gallery, reportedly “to preserve national dignity” – or, more likely, to prevent spontaneous combustions from GOP donors walking by.
