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Trump Body Slams Hulk Hogan to Afterlife to prevent Epstein Tell-All, Sources Say

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In a bizarre twist that somehow doesn’t feel surprising, former President Donald Trump allegedly “took out” wrestling legend Hulk Hogan this week after rumors surfaced that Hogan planned to spill the beans on the Epstein files.

According to sources at Mar-a-Lago, Hogan, real name Terry Bollea, was preparing a Tell-All memoir titled Brother, The Island Was Real. Before it could be published, Trump allegedly showed up in a vintage WWE robe and put Hogan in a sleeper hold while mumbling something about “keeping the kayfabe alive.”Secret Service officials declined to comment on whether the maneuver counts as an official act or a felony. 

“This never happened,” said Trump in a late-night Truth Social post. “Hogan begged me for advice. I gave him the People’s Elbow of wisdom. Tremendous elbow.”

The Epstein files remain mysteriously unleaked.



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