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Trump assures struggling Americans their empty bank accounts are fake news

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Eighteen months into Donald Trump’s second presidency, 53 percent of voters say they are financially worse off, marking the first measurable growth in America’s supply of regret.

Even one-quarter of Republicans report struggling, though many remain unable to connect their ballot to their bank balance without first receiving permission from Fox News.

As consumer costs climb, voters now trust Democrats more on the economy, confirming Republicans have turned their strongest issue into another thing Trump can bankrupt and blame on somebody else.

Democrats lead the generic midterm ballot 51-45. Trump is expected to reassure voters that the economy is historically perfect, their empty accounts are fake news, and any election suggesting otherwise was rigged by the radical-left cabal currently operating every gas station.



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